


May It Always Be

by stellarparallax



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21804229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarparallax/pseuds/stellarparallax
Summary: Shiro watched the cascading waterfalls that lined the horizon from the view of the back of Allura’s castle. He should have been showing reverence for the breath-taking view, but his mind was elsewhere. Unfortunately, conflicting thoughts clouded his mind and snatched his attention away from the natural beauty.He wished that he could take each moment as it was. After all, the war had been won and the coalition had been triumphant. Peace had spread across the region, and the leaders of nations were so amicable that it was unlikely that he’d live to see another war. So why couldn’t he be at peace? Why did his thoughts refuse to be overtaken by the tranquility of the night, choosing instead to fixate on the faded image of a boy with dark hair and striking indigo eyes?--Where Shiro and Keith are arranged to be married (to each other) and they don't find out about it until the day of the wedding.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 69
Collections: Sheith Reverse Big Bang 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my Sheith Wedding Reverse Big Bang fic, idea by the lovely Majo [(Twitter)](https://twitter.com/witch_kitten). You can view her amazing art for this here: [Link to art](https://twitter.com/witch_kitten/status/1206275578585739264)

Shiro watched the cascading waterfalls that lined the horizon from the view of the back of Allura’s castle. He should have been showing reverence for the breath-taking view, but his mind was elsewhere. Unfortunately, conflicting thoughts clouded his mind and snatched his attention away from the natural beauty. 

He wished that he could take each moment as it was. After all, the war had been won and the coalition had been triumphant. Peace had spread across the region, and the leaders of nations were so amicable that it was unlikely that he’d live to see another war. So why couldn’t  _ he _ be at peace? Why did his thoughts refuse to be overtaken by the tranquility of the night, choosing instead to fixate on the faded image of a boy with dark hair and striking indigo eyes? 

Keith was the name he didn’t allow himself to say aloud like a birthday wish that he didn’t want to jinx. But, oh, did he long to say that name; scream it if he must. 

He would be twenty-four when the next October came around—if he was still alive. It’d been about six years since he last saw him and he hadn’t heard of him since. The wind whispered that he’d run off to a faraway region to escape the war. The town gossip said he heard that Keith joined the Galra Empire and paid dearly for his betrayal of Solus. The rain, however, chilled Shiro’s entirety the same way the thought of Keith’s passing did. While he hoped for none of those rumours to be true, the uncertainty of not even having an inkling of Keith’s whereabouts was enough to drive him insane.

He just wanted to hear from him once more. One more time, and he wouldn’t ask for anything else. Once was all he needed.

“Shiro,” was what his colleague said to announce his presence. “What’s on your mind?”

He smiled weakly back at him and lied, “Wedding stuff, you know how it is.”

He winced in mock pain, which made Shiro chuckle. Hunk, having recently gone through a crash course of Balmeran wedding customs for his own wedding, could more than sympathise. Learning about an entire culture was one thing. Having to perform it in front of a large audience of diplomats was another. If anything, he felt sorry for Shiro. 

“Are you… are you happy?”

“I am satisfied with the way things are,” Shiro responded mechanically.

“No, not  _ satisfied _ , Shiro. Are you  _ happy _ ?”

Shiro lowered his gaze. “I don’t know, Hunk. I haven’t had a moment to think about it. Do I appear to be displeased?”

“It’s not that. You just— you’ve lost your spark. I don’t know what it is but you’re not the same person I fought alongside. You used to fight. Now, you just resign. I don’t know why. I don’t know how to help.”

Shiro sighed as he turned back to the view of the waterfalls. Secretly, he wished for Hunk to leave him alone so he wouldn’t have to answer any of his difficult questions. As much as he knew that Hunk meant well, he was not in the right mood or mental space to be prodded. 

“What does Yorak have to say about this?” Hunk asked gently.

Shiro froze.

Yorak was the name that they used to refer to his contact in the Blade of Marmora. They started communicating through a private line for intel exchange since the beginning of the war as part of the arrangement that the coalition had set up. It was strictly professional at first, then they started to grow familiar with each other. Soon, there were inside jokes and nicknames.

When the war ended, their communication continued for a while. Then gradually, responses took longer until Yorak eventually cut him off. 

“I haven’t heard from him in a while. Besides, what would he have to say about it?”

Hunk raised an eyebrow. “You’re not being serious, are you? Not even you could be that oblivious.”

Hunk was right, much like he usually was. Shiro was fully aware of his budding feelings for the Blade, much like he was painfully aware of how impossible a relationship between them would be. After all, there was a reason that Ulaz, the Marmorite that gave him Yorak’s contact, never revealed Yorak’s identity to Shiro. It would have compromised both of their safety, and that was a relationship that was doomed from its inception. 

Marmora was a nation that had recently gained independence from the Galra Empire after its collapse. That meant that most, if not all, of the Marmorites were rebels of the Empire. While they were now protected by Allura’s power and the collective force of the coalition, many of them lived in hiding for fear of retaliation from the survivors of the fallen Empire. 

During his visit to Marmora, Shiro saw many underground tunnels with multiple escape routes into Altea and Solus should they come under fire. Which was why his betrothal to the newly-appointed leader of Marmora was so significant; it would strengthen the relationship between Marmora and Solus and give Marmora access to Solus’ military power. It was what was best for the coalition, the people, and the security of the region. 

Everyone, that is, apart from Shiro. 

See, Shiro had always been a bit of a dreamer—which was really to say that he was a romantic at heart. Since he was younger, he dreamt of marrying a beautiful boy who could peer into his soul and deepest desires even without him saying a word. He always thought that they’d run away from Solus together. Not because he particularly hated Solus, but just because he wanted to live somewhere that there weren’t rules and responsibilities to a system that he wasn’t fully enamoured with. He wanted to be free of the metaphorical shackles that he had been dragging along with him. 

Then, he grew up. Then, came the war. And between fighting to survive and fighting for what he believed in, Shiro learnt to dream a little smaller.

For a while, he thought he had that bond that he desired with his best friend, Keith. But he never had an inkling that his feelings were reciprocated. First, he was a childhood friend, then a senior, then a mentor. Their relationship changed and bloomed, but there was never any moment that he could bring himself to hope to be anything more.

Then, he thought that he had that with Yorak. For a while, he thought that he was imagining the connection that he felt between them. _ It’s because he was feeling vulnerable from the lack of closure about Keith’s disappearance _ , he repeated into the void of his mind while being unsure of who he really was trying to convince. But Yorak had the steadiness and maturity that he always hoped that Keith would learn someday.

‘Someday’ may have been a touch optimistic way of putting it. Shiro wasn’t even sure if Keith was still alive. Though, if he had to choose between finding out that Keith was dead and finding out that Keith was a traitor, he honestly didn’t know which he’d rather. In the absence of reliable knowledge, all he had was his hopes.

“You love him, don’t you?”

It was a question that Shiro had avoided even asking himself, but Hunk’s sincerity caught him off-guard and he couldn’t help but be honest.

“Very much so,” Shiro said like a prayer.

“What are you going to do about that?”

Shiro turned away. He knew that he didn’t need to say it. He knew that Hunk didn’t need to ask. But he said anyway, if nothing but because he needed to hear the words out loud.

_ “Absolutely nothing.” _

* * *

The sounds of decisive footsteps reverberated through the hallway, disrupting the stuffy silence in the hostel. It had been that way since the announcement that the group of scientists that had been sent to explore the icy mining region, Kerberos, was officially missing. All of the hostel residents were afraid of saying anything for fear of upsetting anyone else. 

The members of the team had been beloved by the entire academy—especially their navigator, Takashi Shirogane. He was the poster boy of the institution for excellence and determination in the face of great hardship. After all, it wasn’t a secret that he lived with a chronic illness. In spite of that, he obliterated every record that came before him and he claimed all of the awards. He was the man that everyone looked up to, even his superiors.

Knowing how much his disappearance upset everyone was how Keith knew that the footsteps could only have belonged to his mother, Krolia.

“Keith, have you—”

“Yes,” he cut her off. Of course he’d heard the news about Shiro being declared missing. As if that could have easily escaped his notice. 

A quick look at Krolia was all he needed to know that his interruption shook her up. At the same time, he wasn’t quite sure what she expected from him. He acknowledged her as his mother, but he hadn’t warmed up to her yet. He understood that she left him as an infant because she had to lead the rebellion against the Galra Empire, but that didn’t mean that he could feel affection towards her that easily. Proof of biological relation does not a mother make. 

Especially when all she’d been doing since she returned was try to convince him to leave Solus, the one place he thought of as home.  _ How dare she? _

“There’s nothing left for you here. If he isn’t already locked up in the Empire, he’s either dead or soon to be. The odds of him returning home are slim to none.” 

Solus was known for its constant dry heat, but hearing those words made Keith turn cold. “The  _ odds _ ? Is that all that a person’s life means to you?”

“No, I—”

“When you left Dad and I to struggle without anyone to turn to in the slums of Solus, did you weigh the  _ odds _ of us surviving?”

“Would you have preferred the  _ definite _ death from living in the Empire? Because believe me, Keith, I can  _ easily _ drag you back there,” she shot back. “I took the only option I was given, and I paid the price for it. I lost the love of my life. What do  _ you _ know about loss?”

Keith inhaled sharply and turned away.

“I’m sorry, that was harsh,” she offered gently.

“Trust me, it’s nothing compared to what I’ve heard many times over.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“That doesn’t make it okay. I’m sorry. I promise, I’m trying.”

Keith shrugged. He walked over to the other corner of his room and let himself fall unceremoniously onto firm mattress. 

“Keith, you understand that we still need to—”

“I know. I just…”

Krolia nodded solemnly. Keith knew that she meant it. She, of all people, would understand what it was like to go through the stages of loss. Having been left all alone as a child after her parents had been taken away for political crimes against the Empire, loss had always been an old friend that she greeted with resignation. Keith knew that it killed her inside to have to give up her husband and child to protect them. 

The knowledge that his mother had been followed by so much tragedy made it difficult for him not to pity her. But he kept those feelings close to his chest—she might beat them out of him if she knew. She was much too proud to be pitied. They had that in common.

“Keith, if he loved you as much as you loved him…”

“I need time,” he whispered.

“We don’t have much of that.”

He looked around the room, thinking of every corner of it that Shiro had been in. Then he looked within himself, where there wasn’t even an iota of his heart that Shiro hadn’t touched. The thought of him being gone, never to return, was something that Keith didn’t know how to come to terms with

“Keith, wherever he is… wherever you are… The ones that we love…”

She didn’t need to complete the sentiment. It was the other thing that they had in common—they were both far too fluent in the language of moving on. 

* * *

The bed was soaked in cold sweat when Shiro finally managed to wake up. 

If he reached back far enough in his mind’s eye, he could almost imagine a time when his sleep wasn’t plagued by nightmares. Before, he had nightmares so rarely that the first time he remembered them, his classmate in high school joked that puberty finally hit him. In retrospect, it was just another thing that he didn’t appreciate before it was snatched away. 

When he was imprisoned by the Galra Empire, he didn’t remember any of his nightmares, if he had any at all. All he dreamt of was freedom, returning safely to Solus with his colleagues and seeing Keith again. The brutality that the guards put him through didn’t matter because only hope for a better future occupied his mind. He focused onto that hope like a beacon that was guiding his way home.

But once he escaped, everything changed. He started to get nightmares of getting recaptured and put through worst torture for having the audacity to escape. And worst of all, he started to get nightmares of his previously unshakable conviction being shattering. 

_ “Stop! Please, stop! I’ll tell you whatever you want! Just please, stop.” _

In those same nightmares, he visualised Sam and Matt’s faces when he gave away top secret military information. The expression that they had weren’t of anger or even sadness. They were of sincere and unabashed relief at the knowledge that one of three was about to be spared, even if it wasn’t one of them. They were happy for him. Their futures would be bleak, but they were still happy for him. 

If anything, that was the part that scared him the most—the revelation that he was far more selfish than he allowed himself to believe. They kept Solus’s secrets to save him. He gave them away to save himself. 

Eventually, and gradually, the theme of his nightmares evolved into hopelessness. For a long time, all he kept dreaming of was returning to Solus and not finding Keith there. For what felt like an endless journey back to Solus, he refused to let himself believe in the possibility. He refused to contemplate a reality where Keith wasn’t right by his side. Being apart from him during his capture was painful enough. He wasn’t sure if he could bear the separation for the rest of his life. 

The day he finally arrived in Solus was the day he stopped getting anxious about his nightmares. To him, the worst had already happened.

_ “Oh, you haven’t heard. Keith has defected and returned to the Galra Empire.” _

The moment he heard it, he thought of the stars. He thought of the hours he spent in a dark planetarium, his wrist bumping against Keith as he searched for the courage to interlock their fingers together. He thought of Keith’s love for the expanse of the universe, and he thought of what he said to himself to soften the blow of his father’s passing.

_ “There’s just so much world and so little me that I can’t help but find solace in believing that there’s another me out there with another him who’s still alive. I know the ones that we love never truly leave us, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop searching for traces of him. I wish that I had something else to hold onto, something  _ **_real_ ** _.” _

Shiro didn’t want to believe that Keith abandoned Solus. Or rather, he didn’t want to believe that Keith abandoned  _ him _ . He deluded himself into thinking that Keith had gone to the stars to search for another version of his father, even knowing that he would never have the means to do so. 

The war ended and eventually, so did his efforts to find Keith. 

The people he fought beside during the war—Hunk, Pidge and Lance—decided to move from Solus to Altea in search of better employment so he went with them. There, he was reunited with Sam and Matt. He became fast friends with Allura, the princess of Altea and the new leader of the coalition that comprised of Altea, Solus and Marmora. 

Altea got warmer when spring arrived, and Shiro’s nightmares started to be of Keith returning only after Shiro was already married. 

As he got off the damp bed, he peeled his undershirt off and tossed it into his laundry basket. Then, he walked over to his computer and turned it on.

He heard his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he waited for his computer to start up, like water was rushing in and he would soon be out of air. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to steady himself.

Once he opened the programme, he started typing furiously.

* * *

There’s no guidebook for keeping your composure while watching your father’s coffin being lowered into a grave at ten years old. Neither was there one on how not to fall apart when you run back to the shelter to tell him that you’d been accepted into your dream school, only to find him collapsed on the dusty floor.

Keith knew they couldn’t afford an ambulance, but he called for it anyway. It’s not like his father would be alive to yell at him for it.

_ “Dad, you can’t leave me! Not yet. I didn’t even get to tell you that they’re letting you live at the school with me. You can’t be gone yet... ” _

There’s no guidebook on what to do when you forget how to have ambitions at ten years old. Keith’s only ambition before was for his family to stop living on the streets. He put everything he had into his studies to secure himself a scholarship at the institution for a full ride and accomodations. After talking to the school counsellor, he even managed to get his sickly father a job as a janitor. What he learned from his father’s death was that he didn’t have a reason to dream anymore.

When he first arrived in his dorm room at Galaxy Garrison, he thought that his life was finally within his control. He got to choose his own classes, his own extracurriculars, his own bedtime. He finally had the freedom within structure that he always yearned for back when his father was still alive. And when he met his new roommate, he found a reason to dream again.

Takashi Shirogane had two years on him and had to share a room with a freshman, as is customary at the hostel. Second and fourth years got to share rooms with people from the same cohort while the first and third years were paired with each other. The idea was to give first years a mentor to help with their transition into living away from home while also teaching third years how to mentor a freshman. 

Keith was pleased with that arrangement. He wasn’t exactly good at getting along with someone his age. He nearly got kicked out of his elementary school for fighting.

_ “My name is Takashi Shirogane, if you’re my mother and I did something wrong. Everyone else calls me Shiro.” _

_ Keith leaned his head to the side. “Why not Takashi?” _

_ Shiro chuckled. “I went to an elementary school in a neighbourhood with a huge Japanese community. The year I was born was the height of the career of some Japanese actor named Takashi. I had, like, five other Takashis in my class.” _

_ “So your teacher called you by your last names?” _

_ “Yup!” Shiro beamed. “But that’s me, what do I call you?” _

_ “Keith.” _

_ “Keith… I like that name. I think we’re going to get along very well.” _

Before he heard the announcement that the team sent to Kerberos had gone missing, Keith had already seen a vision of it happening. When it came, it happened suddenly. He was sitting in a lecture when he felt pain slicing through his chest. Before he could even register what was happening, his tears had already started to fall. 

_ So this is what it’s like to lose your first love _ , he thought.

There isn’t a guidebook for losing your second love either.

His room was dark, save for the light emanating from the screen of his computer. Keith had already figured out that life, for the most part, was bigger than himself. He’d long given up the delusion that there was anything he could do to change the course that he’d been set on by his mother or the organisation, or the cause that they championed. 

He was a tiny cog in the machine—his only function was to move as needed. Which is why he accepted it when his mother arranged for him to be married to a man that he’d never met. Which is why he accepted the grief of reading the last message he’d ever receive from the second man he fell in love with. 

_ Dear Y0R4K, _

_ I don’t know if you’ll ever read this. The war ended and there’s no reason for our continued correspondence. I wonder if you’ve even thought of me lately.  _

_ I thought you should know that I’m getting married.  _

_ When I was a child, I was always told that my wedding would be the best day of my life. That it would be beautiful, that the bride or groom would be beautiful. I was never taught to anticipate that it might be the hardest thing I’d ever have to go through. _

_ I’ve never met you. I’ve never held you, heard your voice or even known your name. There has been so much uncertainty between us, but I need you to understand my absolute certainty when I tell you that I love you. I love you.  _

_ I don’t expect anything to happen. I don’t expect you to read this the same way that I don’t expect that I can do anything to prevent the wedding. All I can hope is that I can finally be at peace after being honest about my feelings. Even if it’s the last time I ever get that opportunity. _

_ I love you. I wish I could kiss you. _

_ Yours, _ _  
_ _ JTK92385 _

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

“There should be flowers there… and there…. What are your favourite flowers again, Shiro?” 

Shiro sighed deeply. He wasn’t looking forward to the wedding and he definitely wasn’t looking forward to the planning that led up to it. But Matt was trying so hard to make it amazing that he felt compelled to not squash his enthusiasm. So he said, with as much excitement as he could muster, “Lilacs.”

“Hmm, lilacs are pretty but they’re a bit too understated. Your wedding will be the social event of the year. It has to be big! Bold! How about something stunning, but with a muted elegance? Something like… stargazer lilies!”

“Sure.”

Matt stopped wandering around the banquet hall and got closer to Shiro, “You know, you don’t have to accept what I tell you. If you want lilacs, I can get you lilacs.”

“Matt, you’ve worked so hard on this.” He paused before continuing. “I appreciate everything you’ve done but… what I want is for this wedding to end as quickly as it begins.”

“Shiro…”

Shiro blinked back a tear that was forming in his eye. “I mean it. Short and simple.”

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Shiro’s voice came out as a choke. “I have to. I want… I want to want to.”

Matt looked away and whispered, “This is so unfair.”

“I owe everything to the coalition. They’re the reason we’re free, remember?”

“Well, if their reasons for defending Solus was so that  _ they _ could lock you into a marriage to some guy you’ve never even met, that isn’t an alliance that I feel particularly enamoured with.”

“Matt—”

“They told me that you wanted this. I got all excited because I thought that you wanted a huge and extravagant wedding. But if you don’t, then I don’t want it either. Short and simple, you say?”

“Have I told you that you’re my favourite?”

“No. Probably because it isn’t true,” he laughed. “But after everything we’ve been through together, it’s the least I can do.”

* * *

Keith reread the message over and over, as if searching for a coded message between the lines. It had to be a distress message. It had to be. It just couldn’t be true. 

It was one thing when he was sure that there wasn’t any universe or timeline where his feelings would have been reciprocated by JTK. It was one thing when he could easily convince himself that if he couldn’t marry for love, he could marry for love for the people that he had sworn to protect. 

Knowing that JTK felt the same way he did was another thing completely. It was another stab in his chest.

“Yours, JTK92385,” it said.  _ His _ . Digging his nails into his own palms was all he could do to stop himself from tearing his room apart. 

As he looked around, he wasn’t even sure why he was stopping himself. He’d never met or heard or touched JTK, but his room was covered with traces of him. The wall his bed was by was covered with glee from when he bumped his head from laughing too hard. The wall behind his computer was peppered with anticipation as he waited for JTK’s next message to arrive. And the light on his bedside table was drenched in fear from all the times he couldn’t sleep when JTK didn’t return his correspondence on schedule. There wasn’t an inch that JTK’s presence and absence hadn’t touched. And soon, Keith would have to leave the room and never return.

Keith wondered what JTK was doing right at that moment, what he was thinking, what he was feeling.  _ Did he know that Keith loved him too? Did he know that he’d just have to say the word and Keith would throw everything away and start running?  _ He had to know. There was no way that he didn’t know. No idiot could read the lovestruck messages that Keith sent him and not know that his entire soul only lit up for him. Subtlety, after all, was far from Keith’s strong point.

JTK told him everything, but also nothing. He told him he loved him but not that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. So Keith continued to put his belongings in bags and boxes, making damn sure that he didn’t leave anything behind. After all, he was getting married too. 

It took him a while to notice that his mother was standing in the doorway. She was fond of doing that; waiting and watching him from afar. It was probably a remnant from her training as a spy.

“I never thought I’d see the day,” she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Not that I couldn’t envision you getting married but I thought that I wouldn’t get to—”

“I know.” Keith smiled weakly.

“I hope you get along. I hope that he’s good enough to see the world in you—to see what I see in you.”

He snorted. “Mum…”

“I’m serious! You deserve a good man, Keith. I hope he’s as good to you as your father was to me.”

Keith turned away.

“Keith?”

“I wish he could be there. To give me away, as they say.” He smiled sadly at the thought of never getting to hug his father before walking to the altar. 

Krolia walked over to him and put her hand on his cheek. Then she whispered, “He would have wanted that too.”

He sighed.

She wiped a tear from his cheek and kissed his forehead. “Sweetheart, I’m so proud of you. I don’t think you realise the magnitude of the service that you’re doing for Marmora. We’ll finally be able to be freed from living in the shadows after so long.”

Keith swallowed hard and looked away.

“But if you don’t want this, all you need to do is say the word and I’ll make it all go away. I will never put anyone else’s happiness before yours.”

“You don’t need to worry, Mum. I’ll do it.”

“Are you sure?”

Keith looked at his computer screen. “There’s nothing keeping me here.”

Krolia squeezed his wrist. Then, she got up and walked towards the door. Just as she was about to step out of his room, she turned back.

“Are your vows ready?”

Keith snuck a glance at the pile of shredded paper on his desk.

“Yes.”

* * *

“I’m trying my best to remember when I last walked by a dark corner that you weren’t sulking in.”

Shiro smacked his lips. “Sorry about that.”

Pidge closed the distance between them and sat next to him in the dark. “Have you met him?”

“No.”

“You know he arrived earlier today, right?”

“I know. I’m not sure I want to see him yet.”

Pidge tilted her head to the side.

“I just… I don’t know what that would help, you know?”

Pidge parted her lips to say something, but sighed instead. She laced Shiro’s fingers with her own as she tried to come up with something helpful to say. 

“Well, you may be more… open to the idea of marrying him if you met him and… had a pleasant conversation.”

“Or it could be the worst thing I’d ever put myself through right before vowing to spend the rest of my life with him. I don’t know if the benefits will outweigh the risks.”

“I mean, do you ever know that?”

Shiro smirked. “Touche.”

Shiro pulled his right hand out of Pidge’s grasp and rubbed the fingers of his left hand with it. He started with his thumb, index finger, until he finally reaches his ring finger. Then he stopped and spent more time memorising the contours of the bare finger. Tomorrow, and every day till forever, it would bear the symbol of his devotion to the coalition. 

Perhaps this was punishment for the cowardice he showed when he had to choose between his life and Solus. He never thought of it that way before, but everything was starting to make sense. They could have picked anyone to marry the new leader of Marmora. Shiro had even heard rumours that he was really attractive. But they chose Shiro. It was an uneasiness that Shiro couldn’t shake off. There had to be a catch.

They say that sins require repentance, and perhaps this was his atonement. For years, he lived in sovereignty and he apologised to no one. Maybe his lease for that life of liberty was finally up.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“Yes.”

“What’s really on your mind?”

“Just… thoughts. About you, the others… the fact that I can never truly escape from my past.”

Pidge furrowed her eyebrows.

“This is the way that Allura is punishing me. And I accept.”

“Punish— Shiro, what are you even talking about? Allura loves you!”

“Forcing someone into a marriage with someone they don’t even know... that is love?”

Pidge pressed her lips together.

“Can’t defend it, can you? I get it, she can’t be partial to her friends. And it’s well-deserved.”

Pidge grabbed Shiro’s shoulders and shook him. “I’ve met the guy. I know you’ll like him.”

Shiro averted his gaze. “You don’t get it, do you? The punishment is not having a  _ bad _ marriage, it’s not being given a choice.”

“Shiro…”

“It’s fine. I understand. She could have done much worse, considering what I did.”

Shiro peeled back the fabric of his long sleeve, revealing a brand across the inside of his right forearm. 

_ “This is the mark of a traitor, Allura. All those lives that were lost because of me, I carry to death’s door.” _

_ “Be that so, you don’t need a reminder for it. It won’t take but an hour to get all of it off.” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Why not?” _

Shiro pulled his sleeve back on.

“I really think you should meet him,” Pidge said gently.

“Pidge, I—”

“His name is Vrairke. If you don’t try to get to know him, how can you be sure that you won’t like him?”

“Pidge, I’m not afraid of not liking him. I’m afraid that he won’t like me. Or worse, he may like me until he finds out the truth.”

Pidge put a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t think anyone could dislike you, Shiro. You’re the best person I know.”

“Would  _ you _ rejoice in marrying a traitor?”

Pidge parted her lips to say something, but fell silent.

“Exactly,” Shiro answered for her. 

“Shiro, you went through hell and back. Anyone else would have done the same.”

“Your father didn’t. Your brother didn’t. There’s no excuse for what I did.”

“I’m not saying that it was justified. Just… understandable.”

“I don’t know if he’d understand. I don’t know if  _ I _ could, if it wasn’t my own sin to judge.”

* * *

As part of the arrangement, Keith was given his own private room. If he wished for extra funds to decorate it, it would be granted. His husband-to-be could even be barred from entering, if he wished for it to be so. It was part of the coalition’s efforts to show their gratitude to the two parties that they were forcing to wed.

Since he was informed about the arrangement, he had been thinking about what he wanted the room to be for. Essentially, it was just a space enclosed by four walls, but he wanted to make the most of it. He considered turning it into a mini planetarium, if nothing else but to relive the few positive memories that he had back in the academy. He also considered turning it into a studio, but he hadn’t decided on what interest he wanted to pursue. Paradoxically, having too many options felt debilitating. 

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of ringing bells reverberating throughout the hallway. The sound was getting louder and louder until their source finally made her presence known to him.

“Vrairke, I presume?” she said in a warm, yet stern way.

“That would be my birth name. When we— when my father and I moved to Solus, he started calling me Keith.”

“To hide that you’re half Galra?”

“Correct.”

It was only when she gave him a brief smile that he realised that he hadn’t looked at her properly. She had long, flowing platinum hair that touched the tops of her hips. It wasn’t a hairstyle that was practical for any form of work, which was Keith’s first clue that she wasn’t any ordinary citizen. It was also then that he remembered that he hadn’t personally met any of the diplomats that his mother arranged his marriage with. 

“Wait, are you Princess Allura?”

“I am,” she confirmed with a smile and a slight nod. “We haven’t had the pleasure of meeting, have we?”

“We have not. I should thank you for your hospitality.”

“The pleasure is mine. Shi— the man that you’ll be marrying is a precious friend of mine. I would do anything to ensure that this union is… amicable.”

“Our gratitude is yours, then.”

Allura looked around the room listlessly until her gaze finally landed on the chairs by the window. Without looking away from them, she said, “May we…”

Keith turned to look at what was holding her attention and quickly understood what she was trying to say.. “Yes, of course.”

He ushered her to the chairs and pulled one of them out for her. She smiled and nodded before taking a seat.

“Keith, the man that you’re betrothed too… he sees this union as a punishment that I’m imposing on him. This isn’t a reflection of you as a partner but…”

Keith took a deep breath. “What does he think he’s being punished for?”

“Treason.”

“Surely, there are worse punishments than an arranged marriage.”

“I… I need you to understand that I do not see him as a traitor. Yes, he revealed secrets that he shouldn’t have to our enemies, but who could fault him when he had it beaten out of him?”

“Torture?”

“I have the ability to peer into a person’s memories and I can assure you that he was put through torture worse than you could ever imagine. It was worse than anything I’ve ever had the displeasure of witnessing.”

Keith furrowed his brow. “I don’t understand why you’re telling me this.”

“Understand that when I say that he needs someone to care for him, it is not because he cannot care for himself. He needs to understand that he is worthy of love and consideration. That’s why I recommended him as your husband.”

Keith averted his gaze. “What if he isn’t ready for that?”

“I have been honest with you thus far, and I will not stop now. The thought that I am pushing him too hard did cross my mind,” she paused, then continued. “Question is, will he ever be ready?”

Keith looked out the window at the stone pathway that led to the palace garden. He followed the trail with his eyes till the path diverged into two; one around the thorny bushes of roses and the other around the still pond. There was a safe path and a risky path. Problem was, he always did have a fondness for roses. They were difficult to grow and needed a lot of tender loving care to bloom.

And Keith longed to be needed.

“I’ll take care of him, whatever it takes.”

Allura smiled. “That’s good to hear.”

* * *

Shiro stared at his reflection in the full-length mirror. He pulled at the hem of his ceremonial suit jacket nervously, hoping that he looked the way a groom should look. Then, he looked down at the long sleeve that was covering his right arm. 

Matt cleared his throat. “Shirogane.”

“Holt.”

Matt’s footsteps got louder as he approached Shiro, then he came between him and the mirror. “How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” Shiro mumbled.

“If it helps, I’m sure that you’ll like him.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you’ve told me before.”

“I’m sorry?”

Matt’s eyes were filled with unabashed glee, and Shiro couldn’t understand why. That face also meant that Matt was counting on him to take a guess and Shiro wasn’t quite in the mood for that.

“Just tell me, Matt.”

“Aww, that would be too easy,” Matt said as he prodded Shiro’s side with his fingers. “Come on, take a guess at it!”

“Matt, I really—”

“Shiro? Are you ready?” Allura interrupted them.

Shiro turned and quickly nodded. It was his cue to make his way to the altar. 

  
  


Standing at the altar was when it dawned on him that his wedding would be nothing like he imagined it to be as a child. He always wanted a big garden wedding with flowers as far as the eye could see. He imagined an arch at the start of the aisle that was wrapped with vines, peonies and bluebells that his groom would walk through as he approached the altar. He imagined his parents sitting in the front row.

But dreams had a funny way of not coming true because none of those things were present at his actual wedding. 

Instead, the stone halls were lined with tapestries that told folktales from the early days of Altea, and the seats were filled by more people than Shiro had ever seen in his life. In the third row, he saw his friends, but he recognised no one else. At least, until his groom walked down the aisle.

He was holding his bouquet of lilacs so high that it obscured the lower half of his face, but Shiro would recognise those eyes anyway. They were the eyes that he searched for everywhere he looked, the ones that haunted his dreams.

They were Keith’s eyes.

Before he could catch himself, he gasped. He took a quick glance at Matt, who was beaming back at him.  _ He knew _ , he thought. 

Then, he looked back at Keith, his eyes filling with tears as he arrived before him.

“It’s you,” he blurted out.

It was only until Keith spoke that Shiro realised that he was holding back his tears, “I thought you were dead.”

“No, no, I’m here.”

“I can’t believe my mother hid this from me.”

“Your mother probably didn’t know. I told Allura to keep my name out of the negotiations.”

Keith’s eyes instantly flashed with understanding, but he said nothing. If he knew about Shiro’s past, he was definitely keeping it to himself. For that, Shiro was grateful.

Keith started to shake and Shiro quickly took his hand to steady him. 

“Gentlemen, are we ready to proceed?” Allura asked.

Shiro looked at Keith and said softly, “You don’t have to do this.”

“No, I want to.”

Shiro took a deep breath and said, “We are, Allura.”

Still holding onto his hand tightly, Keith took another step towards the altar. He handed the bouquet that was still in his other hand to his mother, who was standing behind Allura, and took Shiro’s other hand. 

“We are gathered here today to witness not only the marriage between two wonderful people, but the union of two magnificent nations. With the tying of this knot, we also usher in peace and harmony throughout the region and greet the continued strength of the coalition.” She paused to smile at Shiro, then at Keith. “Do you have your vows prepared?”

Keith’s eyes widened. “No.”

Shiro snorted.

“Uh, that’s not really—”

“It’s okay, princess,” Shiro assured her.

Allura nodded.

“In a million years, I never thought I’d find you again. You were my best friend, my first love… you were everything to me. I never dared to think that one day, you could be the person I would marry,” His lips trembled. “Shiro, I lost you once. If you let me, I will do everything I can to make sure that that never happens again. I will protect you, care for you and love you with everything that I am. That’s a promise.”

Keith took a sharp intake of breath and turned to Allura. Wordlessly, she nodded in approval.

“Shiro?” she prompted gently.

“Keith, when I saw you walking down that aisle, I was terrified. I thought I saw an apparition.”

Keith snorted.

“I can’t believe that you’re in front of me now. I can’t believe that I get to hold you and love you forever. I can’t believe that I ever deserved to be this fortunate.”

“Shiro…”

“I love you,” he choked out.

Without waiting for Allura to pronounce them husbands, Shiro reached out and grabbed a fistful of Keith’s hair and pulled him towards himself. He gasped, then pressed his lips forcefully against Keith’s. Keith stumbled backwards slightly, not expecting that audacity. Then he chuckled, and kissed Shiro back.

It wasn’t quite how Shiro imagined his wedding to go but he’d argue that it went much better than how he envisioned it. And as he was locked in Keith’s embrace, he stopped anticipating misfortune coming his way.

* * *

As he laid in their shared bed, his body twitched fitfully. He had long learned to expect the nightmares from his months of being held captive by the Galra Empire. That night was no different. Like clockwork, the memories of being beaten, tortured and interrogated returned to him. His only hope was to wake up in Keith’s comforting arms.

Suddenly, he felt his being floating as he was taken into a deeper level of sleep. It seemed unfamiliar; probably a fragment that he’d forgotten amidst the chaos of war. So he eased into it and let it replay and hoped that for once, he’d relive a pleasant memory.

He was back in his cell in the Galra Empire prison, shackled by his wrists and ankles. Seeing the bowl of water in the corner of the cell, he quickly placed the memory fragment in the time after he’d given away Solus’s military secrets. He looked down upon the swollen, marred skin of his right forearm that had just had a heated iron brand pressed against it. It was the mark of the Empire. That was the confirmation that he needed.

His cell was dark, dingy and filled with the foul scents of faeces and urine from its previous inhabitant. As that thought passed through his mind, he was suddenly blinded by the light in the hallway that was flooding through the cell window. He squinted as he tried to make out who the person who opened the window was.

His eyes widened.

_ It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be Keith. _

Shiro’s body jerked so violently that he almost hit his head against the headboard of the bed. His clothes were drenched in cold sweat and he felt like the bed was sinking underneath him.

“Shiro?” Keith mumbled sleepily.

“You… You let them do all of that to me.”

“What?”

“Don’t lie to me, Keith. Are the rumours true?”

“What rumours?” Keith hoisted himself up, but he was still disoriented.

“Did you really join the Galra Empire?”

“Shiro,” Keith warned, “Me having Galra ancestry does not make that accusation acceptable.”

“I didn’t want to believe it was true, but I guess you got them to pump me full of some amnesia cocktail so I would forget that I saw you in the Empire prison.”

“Shiro, I wasn’t there!”

“I don’t believe you. I knew that there was a catch. I knew that it wouldn’t be this easy.” Shiro got off the bed and started to back away from Keith. 

“Takashi, you just had a nightmare. Please, come back to bed.”

Shiro shook his head feverishly as he continued to step away from Keith. When he was close enough to the bedroom door, he threw it open and ran.

“Takashi!” Keith called out after him. 


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro was running, but he didn’t know where he was headed to. He could go to Allura’s chambers and demand an explanation, or he could flee from Altea and make good on his plans to leave all of his ties to Solus behind. With every moment passed, the latter option became more and more appealing to him. 

But if he did decide to leave Altea, and by extension the coalition, where would he even go? He had little money, no contacts and no means to make a stable living. He would be lucky if he even survived the week away from Altea. And that was if someone from the Empire didn’t find him and recapture him. 

Feelings of frustration rose in him. Once they reached a boil, he punched the wall in front of him, letting it echo.

“Shiro?” a small voice called out. 

Dawn was still a few hours away and even with the light from the lamps that lined the hallway, Shiro could barely make out who it was. The man approached him, slowly, till he was finally close enough for Shiro to recognise. It was someone that he knew too well. 

“Lance, what are you doing up at this hour?”

“I should be asking you the same. Couldn’t sleep?”

Shiro sighed. “I guess there’s no point in hiding it from you anymore. I’ve been set up.”

“Set up, how? And why?” When Shiro didn’t immediately respond, Lance continued. “Shiro, talk to me. You know you can.”

“Do you know who Keith is? Who he  _ really _ is?”

“A jerk?” 

Shiro clicked his tongue in irritation. As much as he appreciated Lance as a friend, he had his way of annoying him at the worst times. 

“Okay, okay, no, I don’t know  _ who he really is _ ,” Lance said with air quotes.

Shiro squinted as he considered Lance’s answer. Lance had been one of the diplomats involved in the wedding arrangements. Granted, he wasn’t the most observant of the group, but Shiro had to give him enough credit that he’d know if Keith was actually working for the Empire. And he trusted Lance. It wasn’t any ordinary kind of trust, it was the kind that was fostered when you almost die alongside someone in combat. He took a bullet for him once. He wasn’t about to question Lance’s motives.

“What’s wrong, Shiro?”

Shiro took a deep breath. “You know how I get those flashbacks from the time I was captured by the Empire?”

“Yes.”

“Earlier, I was in bed with Keith…”

“Ugh, I don’t want to hear about any of that…” Lance whined

“Asleep.” Shiro glared at him. “And I got this flashback of Keith being one of the guards at the prison. I must have repressed the memory before but… Lance, he’s come to take me back to the Empire.”

“What?”

“It makes sense. It may have even been part of Allura’s plan.”

Lance cocked his head to the side in disbelief. Hearing himself say those words, Shiro realised how crazy he must have sounded. The problem was that he couldn’t put away his suspicions, as ridiculous as they may be. 

‘First of all, breathe. Second, why would Allura want you captured by the Empire. Third, Shiro, I’ve met the guy. He’s not like that.”

“How do you know? How do you  _ really _ know? You said yourself that you don’t really know Keith.”

“I guess I don’t,” Lance admitted. “It’s just my intuition speaking. But my intuition has never led me astray.”

Shiro couldn’t help but get in a dig at him. “What about the time you asked that girl out because you thought she was interested in you and she turned out to be a paid assassin from your hometown that was hired to kill you because you broke some precious artefact?”

“In my defence, that wasn’t my intuition speaking, that was my dick.”

Shiro snorted. 

“But hey, if you don’t believe in my intuition, why don’t you get Allura to show you?”

Shiro knitted his brows. “Show me?”

“Yeah. She has that magical timey wimey power thing that lets her project someone else’s memories, right? Why don’t you ask her to project Keith’s?”

“If he’ll let her,” Shiro said dismissively.

“He will. I’m telling you, he will. I saw the way you two kissed at the ceremony.”

“What does that mean?”

“There are some things that you don’t need intuition to believe. His whole heart is yours. Everyone who saw you two could see it.”

Just as Lance had finished speaking, Shiro heard the sounds of footsteps getting louder and louder, until he saw Keith panting in front of him. Even in the dim hallway, Shiro could see that his eyes were red, swollen and glistening with tears. He’d be lying if that sight didn’t make his heart sink to his stomach. He never thought that he’d ever make Keith cry. 

“I’m so sorry. Was it something I said? Something I did? I’m sorry that I upset you. Please, please don’t go.” Keith reached out to touch Shiro but quickly retracted his hand before he did. 

Lance raised an eyebrow in Shiro’s direction.

“Keith, I—”

“I don’t know what you saw, or you think I did… but whatever it was, I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me.”

It was a request that Shiro had a hard time refusing. Not when Keith was looking that vulnerable.

In the entire time that he’d known Keith, he’d never known him to show weakness. Even when he spoke about his own pain and loss, there was a hardness that Shiro could never look past. And yet, there he was, coming undone right before him. It was painful for him to watch.

“Keith, Shiro here had a bad dream and he thinks that it’s a memory of you doing something terrible to him. Now, I don’t believe that it’s true, but Shiro is quite convinced that it is. Would you be willing to prove it?” Lance said with a tone that was almost clinical.

“Lance!” Shiro protested. He didn’t want Keith to be upset any more than he already was. 

“What? You want to know, don’t you?”

“I’ll do it. Anything,” Keith said resolutely.

“You would?” Shiro’s eyes widened.

“Of course! I’d do anything for you. Please, just come back to bed,” Keith begged again.

“Keith, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

Before he could finish, Keith had already taken his hand and was leading him back to their bed chambers. As he followed him, Shiro turned back to look at Lance and caught side of a smug glint from his eye. He bit his lip as he wondered if what he was pressuring Keith to do was a good idea after all. 

* * *

The room that Allura brought them to was all too familiar to Shiro. After all, he’d been there before when he admitted to Allura that he was guilty of giving away Solus’s secrets. She assured him that she wouldn’t punish him, but she had to take a peek into his memories to see what exactly he said so that the coalition could strategically plan around the problem. 

“This might hurt a little,” Allura said.

Hearing that, Shiro started to worry. He remembered being pumped full of painkillers that he didn’t feel anything when he went through the same. But Keith wasn’t on anything, which meant that he would feel everything. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to do this.”

“Will knowing the truth put your mind at ease?”

He thought the question over and over in his mind and he wanted to deny it, but he also knew that he had to be honest. “Yes.”

“Then I’m doing it,” he said as he squeezed Shiro’s hand. 

Keith leaned back into the chair and let his head be supported by Allura’s hands. Shiro watched as Allura’s hands lit up and Keith flinched from the sparks that were coming out of her fingers. Reflexively, he asked, “Keith… are you sure?”

“Shut up, Shiro,” he hissed back.

For what felt like a split second, Keith’s eyes looked apologetic before he squeezed them shut as he recoiled from the pain. Shiro wished that there was something that he could do to alleviate the pain, but alas, there was none. All he could do was watch as his husband went through what seemed like an eternity of heat and shocks rushing through him as the projection was finally starting to materialise before them. 

It took Allura a while to find the time frame where Shiro was in the Empire prison. First, there were snippets of memories from his childhood and the academy and Shiro couldn’t help but grin at how adorable Keith looked when he was younger. When she finally found the right time frame, she scanned every second, every excruciating detail, but nothing revealed that Keith had been at that prison too. 

“Could you go back to— yes, there.”

Allura replayed Keith’s memories over and over again as per Shiro’s request. Each time she did, Shiro only grew more and more perplexed at how it didn’t corroborate with his own memories. 

“Shiro, I really wasn’t there,” Keith finally chimed in.

“But… it looked so real…”

“Shiro,” Allura said gently. “I think they must have altered your memories as part of the torture.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“Shiro, I wasn’t there. You have to believe me,” Keith pleaded.

Keith held his breath as he watched Shiro’s irises dart around like he was trying to make sense of all of the information presented to him. He looked at Keith and pursed his lips. “Keith, I’m…”

“Apology accepted.” Keith squeezed his hand again. Then he flinched again from the pain. “Can we put a stop to this now?”

“One moment. I need to be careful so as to not rip your memories apart. I’m afraid that you’re going to have to bear this for a while more.”

Shiro continued to watch the projection in awe of everything that Keith accomplished while he was away. He saw him go through his training at Marmora and quickly rise to becoming a team leader. He watched as he reconciled his relationship with his estranged mother. And when he watched him curled up on his bed crying and whispering Shiro’s name, he couldn’t help but tear up.

Suddenly, something was starting to look familiar. There was a message on Keith’s computer that Shiro was very sure that he’d read before. The phrasing, the word choice—even the font—was strikingly familiar. 

“Wait, could you pause right there?”

Allura complied in spite of Keith’s whines.

“I… I wrote that. How did you… I was told by Marmora that the server would be very secure! How did you manage to get it?”

Keith shot him a quizzical look. “What do you mean, Shiro? I received that message from my contact in Solus during the war.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow, his head feeling more muddled than it ever did in the past week. If he could believe that the server provided by Marmora was secure, that meant that there was only one way that his messages could have been the same messages that Keith received.

Keith was his contact from Marmora. 

“You’re Yorak.” Shiro gasped.

“I’m… what?”

“No, I mean…” Shiro couldn’t help but burst into a fit of laughter when he realised how ridiculous he must have sounded. “Y-zero-R-four-K. That was your code name, wasn’t it?”

Keith’s eyes widened. “JTK?”

“Yeah.” Shiro brought Keith’s hands up to his face and kissed them. “That was me.”

Keith’s jaw fell open and he let out what could only be vaguely described as a wheeze of bewilderment. “So when you said that you were getting married…”

“I had no idea it was to you!”

“Maybe I should have actually gone to the meetings when the union was being planned.”

Allura grunted in agreement.

Keith laughed as he held Shiro’s face in his palms. “All this while… we were always connected. We just didn’t know it.”

“I never want that to stop,” Shiro whispered as he brought his lips dangerously close to Keith’s. He sucked in a shallow breath before planting a kiss on the tip of Keith’s nose. “I love you, Keith.”

“I love you too.”

Then, Keith leapt from the chair and into Shiro’s arms, his lips pressing squarely against Shiro’s. He pressed hard, till Shiro’s lips parted for him to gasp for air. Without hesitation, Keith pushed his tongue into the entrance that Shiro made for him and tasted the salt of both of their tears. 

Finally, they broke apart in time to hear Allura say, “I’ll… take my leave from here.”

* * *

When Shiro entered their bed chambers, the balcony doors were ajar and the curtains were floating in the wind. As he squinted, he could make out his husband’s slim figure leaning against the balustrade, pushing his back outwards in a way that he knew drove Shiro nuts. Shiro couldn’t help but laugh and the shameless display before him.

“Shiro, is that you?” Keith asked as he turned to face him.

“I’m here, my love.”

Keith turned to look back at him at the exact moment that the curtains blew open. One of the things that Shiro only noticed recently was the way that Keith’s hair caught streaks of orange and gold in the sunlight. But his smile, his smile was radiance that was unparalleled by any other. He smiled and beckoned Shiro towards him, so Shiro went to him. 

“What are you looking at, dear?”

“I was just admiring the view. But that was before something far more spectacular made his way into my field of vision.”

Shiro blushed. “You…”

Keith chuckled and pulled Shiro towards himself. Then, he got on his toes to peck Shiro on his nose. “Me.”

“It’s always been you,” Shiro whispered as he bent down to kiss Keith’s neck.

“May it always be.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading to the end of the fic! I hope that you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! I would really appreciate it if you left kudos and comments! <3
> 
> Come yell at me [@artparallax](https://twitter.com/artparallax) (twitter)


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